The Warning Signs of Computer Dad Syndrome

September 23rd, 2014 by Benj Edwards

Computer Dad SyndromeDuring the 1980s, a debilitating disease broke out among white middle-class nuclear families across the United States. Fathers everywhere were seen awkwardly encouraging their children during regular activities — often while playing video games or using personal computers.

Thirty years later, doctors have finally identified this malady as Computer Dad Syndrome (or “CDS” for short), which manifests itself in spontaneous episodes of uncomfortably becoming someone’s dad for the duration of a photography shoot.

Diagnosis of this condition is contingent upon the appearance of three or more of the following symptoms.

Clutching of the upper arm

Clutching of the upper arm

Grasping of the shoulder

Awkward grasping of the shoulder

Extraneous handsomeness

Awkward grasping of the shoulder

Excessive sweater usage (sweaterphilia)

Excessive sweater usage

Incongruous appearance of pleasure

Incongruous appearance of pleasure

Buffoonery

General buffoonery

Forced bicycle use

Forced bicycle use

Gratuitous pointing

Gratuitous pointing

Diminished alertness

Diminished alertness

Difficultly focusing

Difficultly focusing

Crotch wrangling

Crotch wrangling

Hallucinations

Confusion, hallucinations

Appearing generally non-related

Appearing generally non-related

What to Do If you Have CDS

If you or someone you love is afflicted with this disease, immediately cease all photographic activities and contact the National Computer Dad Syndrome Hotline at 1-800-NOT-DAAD. Together we can spread awareness of this debilitating syndrome, hopefully preventing its spread to future generations.



7 Responses to “The Warning Signs of Computer Dad Syndrome”

  1. Jason Says:

    Hilarious collection of images. Thanks!

  2. Alexander Says:

    2 of those families could afford robots to try and replace their afflicted fathers. Do RBX5 & Hero 1 have parenting add-ons?

  3. Brian R Says:

    Hilarious. Thanks Benj.

    I love the cheesiness of those forced shots of families enjoying computers/video games in the 80s. They seemed to be on the back of nearly every console box.

  4. Moondog Says:

    It’s interesting looking back at the marketing ploys, such as implying computer usage will entail full family participation.

  5. Kouban Says:

    My main question is “Who the heck puts an oscilloscope in their living room?”

  6. arlandi Says:

    with so many futuristic tech in their livingroom, no wonder they don’t care about the football game on tv!! (sweaterphilia)

  7. Jessica Says:

    In the photo featuring the oscilloscope in the living room (pretty damn odd already), wharevthe model numbers of each of those items sans TV?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.