SOME PEOPLES ASK ULAF THIS: HOW IS IT THAT MY MIND CAN CAPTURE THE SPEED? TO WHICH ULAF RESPAWN A SIMPLE WORDS: WITH THE SPEEDBOARDS OF COURSE. IT IS TRUE THAT THE SPEED OR THE BOARDS HAVE BEEN HARDEST TO TAME OF ALL ELEMENTS, SO THE MAGIC OF THESE DEVICE CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD.

SO THEN ALWAYS RECALL THIS DAY THAT HERE YOUR MIND SEES THIS SPEEDBOARDS PHOTOGRAPHY, ONE PICTURES OF THAT ULTIMATE MASTER DEVICES FOR THE NINTENDO ENTRAPMENT SYSTEM (NES FOR ABBREVIATED). ULAF USE IT AND USE IT, THEN OBTAIN HIGHEST SCORE EVER DURING MEGA MEN II WITH FINGERTIPS. NO SMALL FEET.

JUST A QUICK NOTE FROM MY MIND. GO BACK TO LIFE NOW. UNTIL NEXT TIME THIS IS ULAF SAYING BE THE MASTER.

—

Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Almost Perfect Circle Newsletter.”

[Editor’s Note: This was part of an April Fools gag. Ulaf is still not amused.]

HELLO AGAIN VINTAGE SUPERFANS. RECENTLY, THE BENJ DECIDES TO HAND ULAF THE RAINS OF THESE BLOG POST. SO ULAF CONVERT SITE TO THE FAVORITES OF ALL THE WORLD’S KRELZ, GARDENSING. AND HENCE: VINTAGE COMPUTING AND GARDENSING.

TO STARTS US OFF, MY MIND WILL SHARE WITH YOU EASY THREE TIPS TO THE BETTER GARDENSING.

NUMBERS 1:
DO NOT EAT THE VEGTABLES BEFORE THE GROWING.

NUMBERS 2:
THE DIRT IS NOT FOR THE EATING, BUT FOR THE GROWING.

NUMBERS 3:
THE WORMS ARE FOR THE GROWING, AND THE EATING IF YOUR MIND LACK EXCELLENT NUTRIMENT.

THAT IS ALL FOR NOW. STAY TUNES FOR MORE GARDENSING TIPS AND TRICKSTERS FROM THE WHIRL OF ULAF.

FOR COMPUING AND GAMINGS TIPS, CONSULT HOW TO BEAT THE VIDEO GAMES, THE ULAF CLASSIC. SOON ULAF WRITES “HOW TO BEAT THE VEGETABLES” FOR YOUR MIND TO CONSUME. UNTIL NEXT TIME THIS IS ULAF SAYING BE THE MASTER.

ULAF FANS UNITE! READS ULAF ON THE TWEETER: @ulafsilchov

[ Continue reading ULAF’S GARDENING TIPS » ]

WELCOME AGAIN VINTAGE PEOPLES. ULAF FINDS THIS PAPER CONTAINER TODAY BETWEEN CRACKS HIDING IN BACK OF GARAGE. IT BECOMES A BEAUTIFUL PICTURES OF BRAVE THE SID MEIERS, THAT ONLY MOST FAMOUS GAME CONSTRUCTOR OF THE GLOBE.

SOMETIME MY PEOPLES SAY TO ULAF, “ULAF, ARE YOU THE HOBOSEXUAL?” TO WHICH ULAF RESPAWN, “ONLY IF YOUR MIND PAY ULAF 2300 KRELBS.” BUT REALLY, WHAT ONE PERSONS COULD BECAME THE HOBOSEXUAL WHEN MANY IS? AND MANY IS FEEL TINGLE FOR THE SID MEIERS, EVEN THE UNBENT MANS OF WIFE. IT STANDS THE COMPASSION OF PLATO, NOTHING ABOVE.

EITHER WAYS, THIS ULAF DEFINITIVELY GOES AS THE SID MEIERS NEXT HALLOWEENS. HERE BECOMES A PREVIEW.

ULAF FIND THIS IN THE GARAGE OF BENJ TODAY. IN FACT MY MIND ALMOST DIED ON IT BECAUSE THE DEVICE MAKES A HEAVY GOOD TRIPPER. DOES ANY OF MY PERSONS UNDERSTAND WHAT IS THIS? TELL ULAF DURING THE COMMENTARY UNDER THIS MESSAGE.

[ Since Kotaku is being guest-edited by Simon Carless, and GameSetWatch is being guest-edited by Karsden Mörderhäschen this week, I figured I’d join in the trend by taking a break for Thanksgiving and leaving good ‘ole Ulaf Silchov in charge of VC&G for a while. I’ll still be around popping in to check on him, but for now he holds the reins. –Benj ]

ULAF DISCOVERED HIS MIND IN A STRANGER FUNNY POSITIONS THIS MORNING (NO, NOT LIKE THE YOGA). SINCE THE THINKSGIVING DID NOT CELEBRATED IN THE NATIVE COUNTRY OF MY MIND, THE BENJ TELLS ME TO ROLL IN THIS WEEKS WHILE HIS MIND CONSUMED THE TURNKEYS WITH PLEASURE. ULAF CALL IT CLASH OF BARBARIANS, BUT AMERICAS STILL CALLS IT THE THINKSGIVING KNOWLEDGE HOLIDAYS.

THE STORY BEGUN THIS: HIS MIND CALL MY MIND THIS MORNINGS TO TELL ULAF TO EMBODY SPOOKY GHOST EDITOR OF VINTAGE COMPUTERS WHILE HIS MIND RELAX IN FROSTY ELK BACKYARD. ULAF TELL HIM, “ULAF DID NOT USUALLY EDIT GHOST BECAUSE THE GHOST TASTE INEDIBLE.” BUT THE BENJ TELL ULAF, “NO BOTHER. HERE ULAF, WE GIVE YOUR MIND THE KEYS TO THE GARAGE OF MY MIND. DO WHAT YOU WILL WITH PICTURES”

NOW HERE ULAF SIT IN THE GARAGE OF HIS MIND, COLDER THAN GORST CHRISTMAS, BUT SURRENDERED BY THE BEAUTIFUL COMPUTER (AND THE OTHER JUNKS). SO FAR CATS DEFECATED ON ULAF’S LAP TWICE. MORE SAD FOR ULAF, MOST OF THE VIDEO GAMES STAY LOCKED INSIDE THE HOUSE OF THE BENJ. BUT ULAF STILL IN THE GOOD SPIRIT OF VINTAGE TECHNOLOGIES.

PLEASE PATIENCE MY MIND THIS WEEKS, AS ULAF EDUCATE TO WRITE MORE OF THE ENGLISH LUNG WITHOUT TRANSFORMERS AND ENVISION MORE OF THE COMPUTERS IN THE GARAGE OF THE BENJ FOR MY PERSONS TO ENJOY. ALSO ULAF MIGHT TELLS THE FEW SPOOKY GHOST ESSAYS IF YOUR MIND FEELS LUCKY.

THANK YOU FOR READING MY PERSONS. THIS IS ALL FOR NOW. UNTIL NEXT TIME THIS IS ULAF SAYING BE THE MASTER.

[ Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Aquarian Underworld Circular” ]

GREETINGS MY THE VIDEO GAME FRIENDS. THIS WORDS MARK THE STARTING OF A NEW WRITINGS BY ULAF WHERE YOUR MINDS ASK THE QUESTIONS OF YOUR MINDS TO ULAF AND MY MINDS ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS OF YOUR MINDS. LET US START THE FUN MACHINE AND TRAVEL.

[ Continue reading ASKING ULAF #1 » ]

[ Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Simpler Thymes Drug-Free Newsletter” ]

ULAF HERE AGAIN WITH ANOTHER INSTANCE OF MY MIND’S WRITINGS. THIS WRITINGS CONTAIN TOP SECRETS ON HOW TO EAT THE VIDEO GAMES. ULAF MEAN REALLY EAT THEM, AS TO DO AND TO PASS THROUGH THE BODY AS NUTRIENT, OR KUDGE SLAW VISKOS, A NATIVE DISH OF ULAF’S COUNTRY.

IT IS FULL OF THE TIPS LEARNED FROM MASTERS AFAR AND AWIDE, GAINED IN KNOWLEDGE THROUGH MY MIND (THROUGH BOOKS CONVEYED BELOW) AND PUSHED FORWARD TO YOUR MIND THROUGH THE MAGIC OF TUBS, AS THE JOKE GOES. THROUGH THE GLORIOUS INTERTUBS WEBNET. AS MY MIND FINDS IT FUNNY.

THE FAVORITE FOODS

BUT FIRST. BEFORE THE BOOKS ON EATING THE VIDEO GAMES, ULAF SHARES WITH MY PERSONS NOW THE FAVORITE FOODS OF MY MIND:

IT ABOVE IS THE THE HAMBURGLAR, A NATIVE FOOD OF THE AMERICAS COUNTRY. UPON FLOWING TO THIS AMERICAS ULAF EAT MANY OF THESE HAMBURGLAR WHEN MY MIND IS HUNGRY TO EAT. THAT IS TRULY WHY, THEY SPOKE OF AMERICAS TO BE THE PLACE OF THE OPPORTUNITY. AND THEN MY MIND STOPS.

[ Continue reading HOW TO EAT THE VIDEO GAMES » ]

[Editor’s Note: Please welcome Ulaf Silchov, an expert in video games and computers, for his first contribution to VC&G. –RW]

SOMETIMES I LIKE TO PLAY THE VIDEO GAMES. I LIKE TO PLAY THE VIDEO GAMES BUT THE VIDEO GAMES ARE HARD FOR ULAF TO UNDERSTAND. SO ULAF READS BOOK ON THE VIDEO GAMES TO WIN THEM GOOD. AND ME, BEING ULAF, WOULD LIKE TO SHARE SECRET BOOKS DISCOVERED ON THE VIDEO GAMES WITH MY PERSONS.

THE FAVORITE VIDEO GAME

BEFORE THE BOOKS ON THE VIDEO GAMES, I SHARE WITH MY PERSONS NOW THE FAVORITE VIDEO GAME OF MY MIND:

IT ABOVE IS THE VIDEO GAME THAT MANY SMALLER THE VIDEO GAMES PLAY INSIDE IT IF YOUR MIND HAVE THE RIGHT DEVICES. BUT ULAF ONLY HAVE ONE DEVICE AND SO SMALL IT IS FOR THE HANDS OF ULAF, THAT ULAF CRUSHED IT. AND THEN MY MIND STOPS.

[ Continue reading HOW TO BEAT THE VIDEO GAMES » ]