SOME PEOPLES ASK ULAF THIS: HOW IS IT THAT MY MIND CAN CAPTURE THE SPEED? TO WHICH ULAF RESPAWN A SIMPLE WORDS: WITH THE SPEEDBOARDS OF COURSE. IT IS TRUE THAT THE SPEED OR THE BOARDS HAVE BEEN HARDEST TO TAME OF ALL ELEMENTS, SO THE MAGIC OF THESE DEVICE CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD.

SO THEN ALWAYS RECALL THIS DAY THAT HERE YOUR MIND SEES THIS SPEEDBOARDS PHOTOGRAPHY, ONE PICTURES OF THAT ULTIMATE MASTER DEVICES FOR THE NINTENDO ENTRAPMENT SYSTEM (NES FOR ABBREVIATED). ULAF USE IT AND USE IT, THEN OBTAIN HIGHEST SCORE EVER DURING MEGA MEN II WITH FINGERTIPS. NO SMALL FEET.

JUST A QUICK NOTE FROM MY MIND. GO BACK TO LIFE NOW. UNTIL NEXT TIME THIS IS ULAF SAYING BE THE MASTER.

—

Ulaf Silchov is an expert in video games and computers. He also writes for “Svadlost Weekly” and “The Almost Perfect Circle Newsletter.”

He soon landed with an embarrassing splash.

This Double Dragon scratch-off game card came from a pack of Topps “Nintendo Game Pack” cards that I bought, likely in a drugstore, circa 1989. Of all the cards in the pack, this one remains unscratched for whatever reason. Perhaps I wanted to preserve the mystery and potential of a single unscratched scratch-off card. After all, the cards become worthless and ugly after you impart jaggy scratch lines all over those silver little pads.

The reason Nintendo and the scratch-off concept share the same milieu is that each card presents the owner with a game of sorts. Once you scratch a pad, you reveal a graphical symbol that determines your fate depending on the directions printed on the back of the card. In this case, you need “1 arrow and 2 kicks or 3 elbows or 4 punches” to win. I’m not sure how many variations of the symbols Topps printed under those silver pads, but I hope there was more than one. Otherwise, if you had multiple copies of the same card, the “game” might have unfolded in exactly the same way if you scratched the same pads.

Nintendo Game Packs cards featured Super Mario Bros., Punch-Out!!, and The Legend of Zelda as well, although those were too irresistible for me to not scratch off, so none survive in tact in my collection.

A number of websites examine these cards in more detail. This one has scans of all the cards in the series. Another one features photos of the stickers that came with each pack of cards — I remember plastering those all over my walls as a kid. I may have a couple of the uglier stickers left un-peeled somewhere. If I ever find them, I’ll probably just burn them as an offering to Hgnagg, the God of Nostalgia.

Discussion Topic of the Week: Did you collect trading cards as a kid? What kind(s)?

A few days ago, PC World published my latest slideshow, The Evolution of Video Game Media. Many people probably missed it due to Memorial Day weekend, but I’m here to remind you that it exists. It’s the third in my “Evolution” series of slideshows after “Evolution of the Cell Phone” and “The Evolution of Removable Storage.”

For this slideshow, I scanned every type of video game storage media I have — about 66 different cartridges, optical discs, and magnetic disks in all. I visually presented all of these formats to scale with each other between slides so you can get a sense of the size of each. While I included media from a majority of the video game systems ever released, I didn’t include every single one.

A large portion of the text was cut in edits for this slideshow (it’s hard to squeeze a lot of info into a small caption space), so I plan to publish the full text along with the images at a higher quality on VC&G at some point in the future. I hope you enjoy it.

More mediocrity than my attention can hold.

I was so excited when I first saw Werewolf: The Last Warrior in my local Blockbuster, circa 1991. I excitedly rented the game and took it home, only to have my hopes dashed against the rocks of expectation upon inserting it into my NES and playing.

The game was terrible. Well… to be generous, it was an intensely derivative action-platformer, à la Ninja Gaiden — one of hundreds on the NES platform.

While Werewolf may not be remembered for original gameplay, it will forever be immortalized as one of VC&G’s 2009 Halloween Costume Ideas. And that’s the way it should be.

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s the weirdest video game main character of all time?

Super Mario Bros. Crossover is, in my opinion, the only Flash game worth playing. The Internet-keen amongst you may have run across this already on other blogs, but I thought it was worth repeating here.

In SMBC, author Jay Pavlina masterfully recreates Super Mario Bros. in Flash with a surprising bonus: five additional playable characters pulled straight from iconic NES games. There’s Link from The Legend of Zelda, Samus from Metroid, Mega Man from his self-titled game, Simon Belmont from Castlevania, and Bill R. from Contra.

Each character retains certain abilities from his respective game, and the SMB power-ups provide each with character-appropriate upgrades. It’s an exhilarating feeling to destroy every brick you can find with Bill R’s spread shot, or to blow up goombas by laying bombs with Samus. If you’ve ever wanted to gun down Bowser, here’s your chance.

I don’t want to spoil all the surprises. Play the game and find out more.

Technologizer just published the first photograph of Mario Segale to ever grace the intricate tubes of the Internet. And it happened in an article written by yours truly. It’s titled “The True Face of Mario.”

Who’s Mario Segale, you ask? He’s the man that inspired Mario’s name and Italian heritage. To see the photo and to read more about how Nintendo’s famous plumber got his name, mosey on over to the Technologizer and check it out.

P.S. If you like it, please digg it and spread the word.

P.P.S. I thought I had this post up publicly yesterday, but just realized I didn’t. Oops.

Our hero stands alone in a dungeon, screaming profanities at the ceiling.

You might remember our intrepid hero, a loincloth-bedecked body builder, from last year’s VC&G Halloween Costume Ideas. This beefcakey portrayal of Solstice’s main character is as amusing now as it was then, so I figured it deserved its own RSOTW.

The character’s name is actually Shadax, if you’re interested. If you’re not, I don’t blame you. He’s not normally like this, I swear. Shadax wears a modest, body-enveloping robe throughout the entire game. He only gets naked when he’s had too much of the ‘ole Green Fairy.

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s your favorite NES puzzle game? For bonus points: what’s the most obscure NES puzzle game you can name?

Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom (NES)

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s the weirdest video game you’ve ever played?

In the early 1990s, I rented quite a few video games from my local Blockbuster store. I felt compelled to try any and all new games that showed up for rental — up to the point my parents would allow, anyway.

Around the same time, I figured out how to disassemble video game cartridges. I thought myself very clever and began disassembling NES and SNES games I’d rented to see what was inside. Blockbuster wouldn’t have liked this, of course — to prevent such a practice, the chain sealed its game cartridges with tamper-resistant security stickers designed to show if someone had opened them up.

Luckily for me, the stickers didn’t always cover the screw holes, allowing me to work around them. With a careful bend at the sticker joint between two sides of the plastic cartridge case, I could examine the cartridge interior with impunity.

It was then that I struck upon a weird idea. Similar to how kids would scratch their initials on a tree or a school desk, or perhaps draw their initials in wet concrete, I realized I could leave my own mark hidden within the cartridges themselves, gaining a small form of immortality in the process.

The key idea being that I would stick a note on the inside of the cartridge case, so people (most notably, Blockbuster employees) could not normally see it; one would have to open the cartridge again to reveal the secret message.

My youthful imagination fantasized about exchanging covert correspondence between video game renters this way. Even better, I could imagine someone, some day, far in the future randomly opening up an old SNES cartridge and finding a note from me inside. They’d be completely perplexed and amazed, and my goal would have been achieved. But even if no one ever found my message, it still would feel good to have it out there.

Placing The Golden Ticket

The next time I rented a game, I disassembled it and set to work with my plan. I found some small self-adhesive labels and wrote a short note on one, along with a date. After sticking the label to the inside of the cartridge, I closed it up and later returned the game to Blockbuster as usual.

I probably only wrote my initials on the first label (simulated above), but on the subsequent labels — maybe two at most — I might have written a short phrase such as, “Greetings from the past!” I don’t recall exactly. I believe I left the first such note inside Super Mario Kart in the Raleigh, NC area around 1993.

If you find it, let me know. It will be even better than finding the Golden Ticket in a Wonka Bar. As a reward, I’ll give you a personal tour of the VC&G Museum — and I promise you won’t drown in a river of chocolate.

“You are the weapon!”

I was a big fan of the original NES Renegade back in the day, but I seem to recall the sequel, Target: Renegade, being a major letdown. Did anyone out there actually like it?

Discussion Topic of the Week: What’s your favorite Taito game of all time?