{"id":1079,"date":"2014-09-23T14:45:36","date_gmt":"2014-09-23T19:45:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/?p=1079"},"modified":"2017-01-28T08:21:17","modified_gmt":"2017-01-28T13:21:17","slug":"the-warning-signs-of-computer-dad-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/archives\/1079\/the-warning-signs-of-computer-dad-syndrome","title":{"rendered":"The Warning Signs of Computer Dad Syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/dadface_small.jpg\" alt=\"Computer Dad Syndrome\" class=\"alignright shadow\" \/>During the 1980s, a debilitating disease broke out among white middle-class nuclear families across the United States.  Fathers everywhere were seen awkwardly encouraging their children during regular activities &#8212; often while playing video games or using personal computers.<\/p>\n<p>Thirty years later, doctors have finally identified this malady as Computer Dad Syndrome (or &#8220;CDS&#8221; for short), which manifests itself in spontaneous episodes of uncomfortably becoming someone&#8217;s dad for the duration of a photography shoot.<\/p>\n<p>Diagnosis of this condition is contingent upon the appearance of three or more of the following symptoms.<\/p>\n<h3>Clutching of the upper arm<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/armclutch_1_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/armclutch_1_small.jpg\" alt=\"Clutching of the upper arm\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<h3>Grasping of the shoulder<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/shoulder_2_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/shoulder_2_small.jpg\" alt=\"Awkward grasping of the shoulder\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Extraneous handsomeness<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/shoulder_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/shoulder_small.jpg\" alt=\"Awkward grasping of the shoulder\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Excessive sweater usage (sweaterphilia)<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/sweater_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/sweater_small.jpg\" alt=\"Excessive sweater usage\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Incongruous appearance of pleasure<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/nonrelated_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/nonrelated_small.jpg\" alt=\"Incongruous appearance of pleasure\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Buffoonery<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/pointing_2_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/pointing_2_small.jpg\" alt=\"General buffoonery\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Forced bicycle use<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/bicycle_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/bicycle_small.jpg\" alt=\"Forced bicycle use\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Gratuitous pointing<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/pointing_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/pointing_small.jpg\" alt=\"Gratuitous pointing\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Diminished alertness<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/shoulder_3_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/shoulder_3_small.jpg\" alt=\"Diminished alertness\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Difficultly focusing<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/pleased_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/pleased_small.jpg\" alt=\"Difficultly focusing\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Crotch wrangling<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/crotch_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/crotch_small.jpg\" alt=\"Crotch wrangling\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Hallucinations<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/delusional_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/delusional_small.jpg\" alt=\"Confusion, hallucinations\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>Appearing generally non-related<\/h3>\n<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/unrelated_2_large.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/wp-content\/images\/dadsyndrome\/unrelated_2_small.jpg\" alt=\"Appearing generally non-related\" class=\"centered shadow\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<h3>What to Do If you Have CDS<\/h3>\n<p>If you or someone you love is afflicted with this disease, immediately cease all photographic activities and contact the National Computer Dad Syndrome Hotline at 1-800-NOT-DAAD.  Together we can spread awareness of this debilitating syndrome, hopefully preventing its spread to future generations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>During the 1980s, a debilitating disease broke out among white middle-class nuclear families across the United States. Fathers everywhere were seen awkwardly encouraging their children during regular activities &#8212; often while playing video games or using personal computers. Thirty years later, doctors have finally identified this malady as Computer Dad Syndrome (or &#8220;CDS&#8221; for short), [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,13,24,22,9,10],"tags":[545,150,910,595,909,220,124,908],"class_list":["post-1079","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-computer-info-and-history","category-video-game-info-and-history","category-humor","category-nes-famicom","category-retrogaming","category-computers","tag-1980s","tag-advertisement","tag-computers","tag-dad","tag-fathers","tag-humor","tag-nes","tag-non-consensual-dad-syndrome"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1079","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1079"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1079\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.vintagecomputing.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}