[ Retro Scan of the Week 2nd Anniversary ] Father/Son Caption Contest

January 28th, 2008 by Benj Edwards

VCG RSOTW Second Anniversary Caption Contest Image

In January 2006, VC&G unleashed the first-ever Retro Scan of the Week upon the world. Two years and 104 scans later, the RSOTW feature is still the only reason anybody reads this blog. In celebration of its second birthday, I figured we’d hold a contest to determine the world’s biggest RSOTW fan — VC&G’s 6th caption contest!

Your task? Simply write the funniest caption you can think of for the image above. Anyone out there may enter the contest as many times as they want by writing a comment on this post (the more, the better). I will select the winning caption a week from today and post the result. One lucky winner will receive a nude photo of Ulaf Silchov*, a year’s supply of tiny, invisible beans, and bragging rights at the next VC&G house party.

Let the games begin!

If you use this image on your site, please support “Retro Scan of the Week” by giving us obvious credit for the original scan and entry. Thanks.

* Just kidding. But the beans are absolutely real.

20 Responses to “[ Retro Scan of the Week 2nd Anniversary ] Father/Son Caption Contest”

  1. Jim Ulrich Says:

    Look son, ASCII porn is so hot.

  2. Andrew Says:

    Hehehe, I can image what the actual real one was, which is likely a poor joke about getting parents onto computers.

    And I visit/RSS this site for all the great articles 😀 not just the scans!

  3. Qball Says:

    The excessive radiation generated by the first generation personal computers often resulted in cases of body swapping such as this.

  4. Totallyamused Says:

    Son, look at this cutting edge BASIC program I just wrote:

    10 Print ”I am an idiot!”;
    20 Goto 10

    Now, watch as I type RUN and press ENTER.

  5. rms Says:

    As his forefathers watched down from the picture on the wall, Anton used his gnarled right hand to aimlessly pound away on the keyboard, laughing hysterically at the merriment on the screen. “Pretty lights!” he exclaimed. Anton was oblivious to the fact that Piggy would soon be cutting his throat to form a type of permanent, macabre grin.

    And thus, the real story behind “Lord of The Flies” begins.

  6. crazyhorse Says:

    Before this new machine my father was a two fingered typist. Now he types with two and points with one. Welcome to the future.

  7. Kurlumbenus Says:

    Look, son! I’ve wikipedia’d “BOOBS!”

  8. Mr. Ksoft Says:

    Oh my god, look at those graphics! These text adventures are getting more realistic every day!

  9. Guano Says:

    “This is my kid brother, as you can see. He’s got sort of a pituitary problem. Despite that, he’s still retarded.”

  10. Benj Edwards Says:

    Not too bad so far. Keep ’em coming. If this entry doesn’t get at least 30 comments, I’m shutting the site down!

  11. medarch Says:

    What if you get 30 comments asking you to shut the site down?

  12. medarch Says:

    “Hello. I’m Walter F. Rambo, and my dad is retarded. I use the Sinclair Tardmaster 5000 because it keeps him distracted up to 15% longer than the leading home computer, and because its drool-proof keyboard comes with a lifetime warranty! Get yours today!”

  13. Geek Says:

    “I’m carrying Mac’s new thin thin laptop inside this binder but my dad insists on playing on this ancient computer. Yes, our family is odd *sigh* “

  14. Russell Says:

    “Dad. Dad. Hey Dad. I’m supposed to be at school in ten minutes. Do you think you could lay off the BBS posts long enough to drive me?”

  15. Benj Edwards Says:

    Hmm. Only 12 entries. This does not bode well for the future of the once-glorious VC&G caption contest….

  16. Andrew Says:

    “You too will know when you’ve reached adulthood – when you outgrow your father’s lust for ascii porn” (sorry, I know it’s poor porn joke).

    “Does your dad do this on your computer? Time to think about putting him in a home”.

    “Want to get schoolwork done sonny? Tough luck, your father needs to go on Youtube all night and annoyingly point out “funny” things. Try reading those books of yours instead!

    (Paid for by the National Library Service)”

    “When stuck in Zork make sure you get expert help from your son, because laughing at being eaten by a Grue is only funny in your house so many times.”

    “Do you wear glasses and your father doesn’t? Get him a computer, you’ll be equal 4 eyes in no time!”

    “Do you want to petrify your father stiff? Get a new NeoGlow(C) monitor and tell him he won’t need his glasses! Moronic posing of your choice can then commence!”

    “Gladys never understood her son’s obsession for computers, and was wholly surprised when she noticed that her husband had swapped his clothes with him, and went on the computer shouting “See? They might not have been able to transfer minds dad, but I could!!!” with her son looking on bemused.”

    Hope that’s bringing the total up. I was inspired, you could say. My lack of wit won’t make many of these funny though 🙂

  17. Russell Says:

    Aww I love the caption contest! Good work, Andrew, by the way!

  18. TOM Says:

    “Look Benji, My BBS has 231 posts this week and your web site has only 15 entries. I told you that caption contest was a waste of time”

  19. Benj Edwards Says:

    Hehe, that was a good one, Tom. You win!

  20. Cody Says:

    “He loves his porn.”

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