The Story of AMD64

November 10th, 2015 by Benj Edwards

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
(An interpreted narrative told through real AMD stock photos)


The Story of AMD64 Opteron
Once upon a time, three lonely scientists devised a chip. It would be the ultimate computing device. They called it AMD64.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
Upon its completion, the scientists rejoiced, coddling the chip like it was their own child.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
As they contemplated its wonder, one of them held AMD64 in direct sunlight. It reflected the sun into his eyes, blinding him.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
This angered the scientist, and he hurled the chip outward at such speed that it escaped Earth’s gravitational pull.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
It began to tumble toward the sun, hopeless and lost.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
Just then, a large black monolith appeared and sucked the chip inside. Time froze, and reality curved.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
Within the monolith, AMD64 saw its past, present, and future flow before it, merged into one.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
Its delight turned to horror as the memories melted into a molten pit of pulsating fire, engulfing the chip.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
Suddenly it found itself alone, in silence, on a glassy white plane. “Hello?” said AMD64. Its voice didn’t echo; it heard nothing.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
AMD64 felt the ground shift beneath its feet and it began sliding, down, down across an infinite silicon plane at incredible speeds.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
It became airborne, launched once again: this time, toward Earth.

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
As it re-entered the atmosphere, it began to tumble, slowing its descent. It fell through the ceiling of a factory where it was caught by a teenage boy. “Got ya, little guy!”

The Story of AMD64 Opteron
The boy stacked the chip on a pile of others. AMD64 looked around and noticed that the other chips looked just like him. “This is my family,” he cried in joy. “I must be home.”

9 Responses to “The Story of AMD64”

  1. Philip Says:

    That ending is heart-warming!

  2. KartMaster Says:

    Seems legit.

  3. Benj Edwards Says:

    I’m not biased or anything, but I think AMD should adopt this for their official marketing materials.

  4. dwd Says:

    [Slow clap]… Well done, Benj. Well done.

  5. Benj Edwards Says:

    Is that a good slow clap or a bad slow clap?

  6. Ant Says:

    I had single core (754) and a dual (939) core AMD Athlon 64 systems. AMD, please come back to compete big again!

  7. Bill Says:

    Yeah I wish AMD would come back, my worthless 100 shares will like it also!

  8. FeRDNYC Says:

    Facebook’s “On This Day” feature reminded me about this post, which I shared a year ago… I still love it. It’s the story of all of us, really.

  9. Benj Edwards Says:

    Glad you like it!

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