When I first saw this ad in EGM around 1992-93, I wanted one of these modems so bad. I was hugely into BBSes and computer telecommunications at the time, and the thought of using one on a console to play games with friends was awesome. My best friend called my BBS, and my imagination went wild thinking about all the fun we could have with a pair of these modems. That is, assuming the games were good.

Eventually, I convinced my mom to call Baton (being a about 11 or 12 years old then) to see if she could order one, but by that time either the phone number was already disconnected, or she didn’t get an answer. Or maybe she did talk to somebody — my memory’s fuzzy on that point. I was hugely disappointed. Crushed. The Teleplay modems never showed up in stores and I never heard anything about them again.

I did get excited when Xband modems came out some years later (for the SNES and Genesis), but I found the experience with their service somewhat lacking. I wanted a direct player-to-player connection with no game broker or middle man.

For more on the story behind the Baton Teleplay modem, check out Frank Cifaldi’s investigative piece at Lost Levels Online. I’m really glad he took the time to research the company so that their story isn’t completely lost to history.

Unfortunately, I forgot to document the issue number this ad appeared in when I scanned it some time ago.

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Just in time for Halloween comes this special ultra-morbid computer software ad from 1983. I’ll have to admit that I’ve felt this way about computers myself more than a few times — especially back in the Windows 98 days. Luckily I didn’t go this far, or else I wouldn’t be here today writing for you.

I’m just glad this isn’t an ad for a computer version of Hangman.

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Upon looking at this ad, I find myself wondering if Bill Cosby ever actually used a TI-99/4A. No, wait…has he ever owned one? Was it a gift from Texas Instruments for being their spokesman? Does he still have one sitting in his closet/attic/basement somewhere, or did he yard sale it in ’89? Did he ever turn it on? Did Bill Cosby ever write a BASIC program? Did he ever balance his budget with Household Budget Management? Did he play Munch Man or Alpiner? Did he curse the TI-99/4A joysticks for being terrible and throw them against the wall when he lost?

If you prick Bill Cosby, does he not bleed JELLO?

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I found this interesting ad in the March 2006 issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly today. It says that as part of Yonathan Cohen’s restitution for selling “the POWER PLAYER” Famicom clone, he had to publish this advertisement warning others about “the dangers and penalties associated with violating the copyrights laws.” According to the ad, the Power Player console contains “over 40 copyrighted games belonging to Nintendo of America.” Sweet! Ahem. I mean…Let that be a lesson to ya, Yonathan, and let this be a dire warning to any other scallywag who be sellin’ the POWER PLAYERS on the open market! Heed ye not the old pirate’s warning and Nintendo will relentlessly hunt you down until all of your pathetic, filthy kind are eradicated from the face of the earth. Of course, I’m being sarcastic. But Nintendo’s not. They will kill you.