And you thought eatin’ shrooms to grow bigger was strange. How about this: flying green crabs dropping red clay bricks on a grinning, toothy duck wearing a cape and glasses with a double-barrel shotgun coming out of his mouth.

At least it’s set in a pond, so the backdrop isn’t too fanciful.

The game is Deadly Duck for the Atari 2600, a 1982 shooter title published by 20th Century Fox. I’ve played it, and it’s not too bad. It’s a vertical shooter, similar to Space Invaders and Demon Attack.

You play as a duck striving to gun down flying crabs that drop bricks on you — actually, around you. When the bricks land, they temporarily impede your movement to the left or right, then disappear in a few seconds.

This is one of the many vintage video game box illustrations that rendered the typically absurd and abstract situations of extremely low resolution games in a very realistic and literal manner. Super Breakout for the 2600 is one of my favorites (it also inspired a 2006 Halloween costume suggestion).

You can find many more examples of this curious art form on the web, including many parody boxes, so watch out for fakes.

The Avatar: crushing gargoyles like roaches since 1985.

Discussion Topic of the Week: I’ve already asked you what your favorite Ultima game was. What’s your least favorite game in the Ultima series? Which one do you think is the worst?

TRS-80 computers are clearly changing the world.

Growing up in the 1980s, I was no stranger to free educational materials designed to promote commercial products. Here’s such an example from Radio Shack: The Science Fair Story of Electronics, a colorful comic book that spares no opportunity to introduce the Tandy/Radio Shack brand to the consumers of tomorrow. (For those who might not be familiar with it, Radio Shack is a chain of electronics retail stores in the US.)

If you click on the picture above, you’ll see a two-page spread from the comic that extols the benefits of (TRS-80) computers and briefly retells computer history from a decidedly Radio Shack perspective.

Discussion Topic of the Week: Have you owned or used any Radio Shack / Tandy / TRS-80 computers? If so, which ones?

Only if you want the best!! !! — !!

Thirteen years ago this Tuesday, Nintendo launched the Nintendo 64 video game console in North America. That’s right: it was on the 29th, despite the “September 30th” that this ad boldly proclaims. After this ad was published, Nintendo moved the launch date a day back from a Monday to a Sunday (supposedly to prevent people from skipping work or school to buy the system, although I haven’t confirmed that).

It seems more likely to me that Nintendo realized a larger number of people would actually be able queue up for a system (or simply just go to the store and buy it) on their day off. Stronger opening day sales numbers were (and still are) important to console makers because they meant not only more press coverage, but also more license for ecstatic gloating and self-aggrandizement from the company’s PR department. If you hadn’t noticed already, hyperbolic show and bluster were dominating themes in 1990s American video game marketing.

Either way, dinosaurs did fly, and an enormous Stay-Puft Mario carelessly wiped western Europe off the map with his spinning boot heel. Fun was had by all.

Discussion topic of the week: What’s your favorite Nintendo 64 game of all time?

As you may have already noticed by my previous two posts, the Macintosh Portable turns 20 this week. As part of the celebrations, I not only took one apart for Technologizer, but I also wrote two Macintosh laptop retrospectives for Macworld: “The Five Most Important Mac Laptops” and a slideshow, “Twenty Years of Notable Apple Totables.” Hope you enjoy them.

Twenty years ago, Apple released its first laptop computer, the Macintosh Portable. It was a large and heavy beast, oft maligned (especially now) for its size and high expense.

But at the Portable’s heart sits a truly clever design — very nice for 1989 — that incorporated a number of interesting features people often overlook, since few have actually seen a Portable in the flesh.

In honor of this anniversary, I decided to take apart a Mac Portable for the seventh entry in my “workbench series” of technology teardowns. This time, Technologizer is hosting the slideshow.

Please join me as I pry into its secrets (including hidden case signatures!), compare the Portable to an iPod Touch (six of which could fit inside the Mac Portable’s battery), and just generally ogle over the beautiful technological clockwork that makes the Portable tick.

Here are my previous teardowns, if you’re interested (all at PC World): Nintendo Game Boy, Nintendo Famicom, Apple IIc, Commodore 64, IBM Model M Keyboard, and TRS-80 Model 100.

P.S. In case you didn’t notice, our Retro Scan of the Week this week focuses on the Portable as well.

You can’t be your best if you don’t eat a good breakfast.

Twenty years ago yesterday, Apple released the Macintosh Portable — the first battery-powered portable Mac. I say “battery powered” because in some sense the first compact Macs were very portable in their own way, but they were designed to be plugged into a wall.

Here’s the first advertisement for the Mac Portable (that I know of). Apologies for the giant crease down the center, but it was a two page ad. Just for the record: I hate scanning split-page ads. It makes you wonder why any ad designer would want the product they’re showcasing to be cleft in two by the folds of a magazine, distorting the image of the product in question. But oh well.

By the way, I’ve taken apart a Macintosh Portable in honor of this anniversary over at Technologizer (you’ll see another post about this soon).

Discussion topic of the week: What’s your favorite Macintosh laptop/notebook/portable of all time?

Where’s Waldo in the Land of Blur?

Discussion topic of the week: What’s your favorite pre-1995 Capcom game? And, if applicable, what’s your favorite pre-1995 Capcom game that’s not a member of the Mega Man franchise?

Click above to see the ad in situ.

Here’s another vintage clipping from my grandmother’s cedar chest, this time from a Knoxville, TN newspaper. It mentions SCRIPSIT, early word processing software for the TRS-80 computer line.

Discussion topic of the week: What was the first word processing software you ever used?

Numbered lists, numbered lists. What would the Internet be without numbered lists? I’ll tell you: it would be a lonely, barren place. As much as they seem like a literary cop out, people love them. They go wild for them (or at them). Numbered lists slice and dice facts and figures into tantalizing nuggets of information, easy to consume and digest in today’s frenetically-paced world. It seems nobody has the time to read long-form prose anymore.

Some years ago, I realized that this seemingly lightweight article format is here to stay, so I might as well make the best of it. That’s why I’ve dedicated a portion of my career to writing the best numbered lists possible. I may not always succeed, but at least I try.

Exhibit A: The 11 Most Influential Microprocessors of All Time. The fine folks at PC World published my latest foray into the numbered-list genre late last night. It explores some of the most important microprocessors ever devised in a slideshow format, replete with nifty graphics.

As always, I’ll include a standard disclaimer that I include for any numbered list: your opinion my vary. Even though it probably will, you might learn something along the way. And perhaps, like me, you’ll be oddly invigorated by the quantification of something typically un-quantifiable. It’s an exciting weirdness that we can’t resist.

I hope you enjoy it.